ReTALE

Working retail has so many advantages. You have the opportunity to see a huge range of human behavior and interaction with people. You have an amazing cocktail of potential issues to choose from. People's personality, expectation of product performance, expectation of clerk performance, the weather outside, whether or not the shopper was fighting with children or spouse that morning, if someone cut them off in traffic, if the moon is full.... Mix in with that products and services, some of which go well, and some go horribly wrong.

I wish I was joking. Over the years I've observed many, many "You have GOT to be KIDDING!" moments at work. I have spiced up many a dinner table conversation with some of the stories I picked up at work. I was even told I should write a book. Oh the volumes I could fill... The thing is, people often ask things or answer, without thinking. It reminds me of when I was in Elementary School and asked the teacher "Can I go to the bathroom?". They would always respond "I don't know, can you?" then the correction came, "You mean, MAY I go to the bathroom?"

The one thing that now causes me to laugh, almost in a mad hysterical kind of way, is how people call in and ask for things. Here are some examples:

Me: "Switchboard, how may I direct your call?"


Caller: "Hi, can I speak to someone in hot water please?" (He wanted hot water tanks)

Caller: "Hi, can I be put through to Ladies Lingerie?" (We have men's lingerie?...)

Caller: "Can I be connected to Vacuums?" (Well maybe, but it could hurt...)

Caller: "Can I get the Beauty Saloon please?" (Saloon? I didn't know we served drinks here...)


In the old days, when I worked out on the floor and not in the office, I heard some good ones at the registers. When asking if the customer wanted to charge it to our corporate credit card as payment, often I would hear "No thanks, I will just pay for it." What did they think I was asking them? That is paying for it! Or my favorite (a mother to her 4 year old child) "Honey, I will buy you a watch when you learn to tell time". We have children's watches that help TEACH them to tell time!

But the BEST story I ever heard was one relayed to me by co-worker. An employee working in Parts and Service had just told a customer that the part they needed to fix their stove was no longer available. After the inevitable blowup that came about, the customer used some choice words in telling the employee just where they could put their low quality merchandise. Without missing a beat, the employee said, "I am sorry Sir. I already have a fridge, a washing machine, 2 microwaves and a lawnmower there. I have no more room."

Thank you all you consumers, for the never ending stream of verbal "Seriously? You have GOT to be KIDDING!" moments.

Didn't mama say?

My friend's mom was getting ready to dash out the door. Her good pair of Henkels scissors had broken that morning and she was getting ready to run out and have them repaired. After telling me the tale that led her to this moment of decision to do it now or wait a few days, she resumed her rushing about, all the while carry around the scissors in her hand.

I may have pointed out to her that she is a mom, and that didn't her mother ever tell her not to run with scissors? As she chuckled at the thought, she said, "Now there is a blog!".

That's a Blog!

It's very humorous I find myself in situations that always end up with me saying "I need to blog about that!"...and then I never do. It isn't for lack of want, but more for lack of opportunity. Since I don't have a computer connected at home to the Internet, I depend on other sources. By the time I am next online, I am either too tired, or I have forgotten all about what struck me as SO important. I am a wellspring of ideas, between my knack for experiencing the bizarre and my ability to attract the absurd, there are no shortage of blog topics.

So there. I blogged about blogging. When the idea actually struck me. I will take my victories where I can get them.

Fall Dayz

There is something so refreshing about Fall. Summer is over, but the hot unending Summer days are coming to an end, and at night, the chill has returned to the cool air. It has rained too, a usual custom for the timing of back to school. I can hardly recall a first day of school that the sun was actually shining.

The leaves are turning color and starting to fall. My favorite thing is to drive through the leaves as they swirl downward, hitting my windshield. My moment of bliss is to walk through them in late October/early November when they are piled up and crunchy. Then the wind will pick up. That is another happy moment. To be curled up on the couch with a cup of something warm, covered by a cozy blanket. A book lazily strewn beside you, as you look out at a grey, blustery, rainy afternoon, watching the wind whip the wet leaves around the yard. At night and early morning, the fog rolls in, blanketing the ground like a cozy air blanket.

Then are the smells and tastes of Fall. Smells of cinnamon, roasting pumpkin seeds, homemade soup or stews, breads, apples and apple crisp, All the outside summertime cooking, bar-b-cuing and eating comes back inside, filling up the house with lovely scents of tasty comforting familiar foods. Thanksgiving offers the chance to sample turkey or some other form of fowl.

There are so many farm markets and festivals. Proud farmers that love to show off their hard work and fruits (or vegetables) of their labors. For my mom and myself, it is the start of craft season and craft shows.

Fall is my favorite season. Not too hot, not too cold, plenty to look at and do, inside and out.

A Charmed Life

Have you ever met 'one of those!' people? You know, the ones who always get the green traffic lights, the close parking spots when it's busy, the bread falls sticky side up - if it even falls AT ALL!, stuff may spill - but usually NEVER on them, the puzzle piece fits effortlessly, the phone company offers them a new FREE cell phone when tragedy strikes, free stuff is included or offered in things - sometimes without asking, their car never seems to break down...shall I go on? If you don't know someone like this, you have heard of people like this, and if you hear about it on a particularly bad day, it does nothing good for your 'Woe is ME' attitude.

I must admit, I am a bit of a Winnie the Pooh when it comes to life. I have a little black rain cloud following me. And since I am so used to it, it doesn't always bother me, until I am next to someone who isn't even used to opening an umbrella!

If that person I described earlier doesn't sound real, she is. She is my best friend. I have observed many many scenarios over the years and it just might be getting worse the older we get. Now it just seems funny. There is nothing we can do about it. I wouldn't wish my luck on her, and my ability to have these moments that remind me of the British character Basil Faulty, is an unending source of entertainment for many, including her. We even have codes. One of them is called an 'ever' moment. She tells me something that ALMOST happened to her (but of course, ended up okay) and I say, "That would never happen to me...ever!" And thus the "EVER" moment was born. I will get random texts or emails with her just saying, "I had an EVER moment today and I thought of you! :-) " The other response is, "Figures!" That is usually when she tells me about an 'Ever' moment and I respond by saying, "it figures!"

What made me think of it tonight is something so insignificant in the whole scheme of life, I HAD to write about it. We play a lot of different games on Facebook. I even created another account just so I could use that to advance faster in my games. A while ago, my friend and I got each others info, so we could log in and game for the other when someone wasn't able too. So today, I was playing this one game and every day you log in, you get a random amount of coins in a 'daily lottery'. Out of all three accounts, who do you think got the biggest bonus?? Yup, she did. And she DOESN'T EVEN PLAY!!! I got 60 coins, my other account got 120, and she received 300!!! I laughed right out loud and proceeded to tell her.

Figures.

My Summer Loves

There are so many things to love about summer. So I will start off by saying what I DON'T like about summer! It's hot. And I know everyone around the earth in warmer places than this scream heat?? you don't KNOW heat girl! Actually I do. I went many years ago to Malaysia in there hot season. Now that was what a friend of mine would call 'stupid hot'. Really, I have never felt anything like that. From the wall of heat that hits you when leaving the airport, to the hike in the jungle at nearly 45Celcius with the humidity, as well as the massive sunburn I got BEFORE doing that hike in the jungle, I would say I have experienced 'heat'. And I don't like it.

Now that's out of the way, on to what I love about Summer....

I love the smell of the earth after a summer rainstorm. You can actually smell the air change right before it rains, and especially when there is a thunderstorm. One of the best things is to lay on a towel in soft grass under a big tree, and have a nap while a gentle breeze wafts over you. Camping. The smell of suntan lotion. Walking through sand on a beach. The sound of sprinklers on neighbors lawns makes me smile. The variety of fruits (and veggies for you mom!) that are available (and cheap!). Picking berries. Laying on the grass looking up at the unending blue sky, and seeing different images in any passing clouds. The sound of children playing in water makes me feel young. Water fights. Going for a boat ride, even on a ferry. Road trips. Meeting tourists and giving them hints on the best places nearby to do things. Picnics with potato salad and hot dogs burnt over the campfire. Flower gardens in full bloom. Orange crush pop. Watching 'The 7 Year Itch' and 'White Christmas' in July. I love that Christmas is that much closer!! School supplies! I always feel tempted to buy a new set of pencil crayons or regular crayons just because. The smell of a freshly cut lawn. Corn on the cob. Driving in the car with the windows open, blasting some kind of summertime music. The smell of a campfire.

Now, the winner of my most favorite thing about summer - the long summer days. I love that there is still light around 9pm and the sun is up again around 5am. If I could only pick one thing about summer to love, this would be it.

I am no longer fun.

I don't know exactly when it started, although I know the season of my life that put me on the path...but I am no longer fun. I am perfectly happy doing nothing. Mostly. I can turn hermit/turtle at a moments notice, often needing no invitation at all. At this point in my life I should either be married with children, or having fun out every other night or so. I don't do either. I am done work, which equals being done period.

Last year, after a particularly stressful season of my life came to a close, my closest friend told me she was looking forward to me staying with her. That it would be wonderful for me to do nothing but stare at the walls if I wanted. Funny thing is, now, a year later, that is exactly what I want to do. It isn't that I am anti-social. I don't think I am even depressed. But I am not exactly upbeat, nor do I have much energy. When faced with an evening where I have nothing pressing to do, instead of starting a project or heading out somewhere, I put the pj's on (or some other comfy clothing), turn on Criminal Minds, and veg for a while.

I suppose you could call it burn out. I was used to doing doing doing for so long, that now when given the option to do nothing - I won't! :-D ahh...somehow I will get the fun factor back, but for right now, I am a tired, boring, 33 year old with turtle tendencies. I will enjoy it now before I get going again!

Kicked out of Tim Horton's

There are many times in ones life that a person is forced to pause and reflect not only on their choices, but their behavior in certain situations. In this case...I am at a loss.

After a long (and I do mean LOOOONG) day of work, myself and a few coworkers decided to get together at our nearest Tim Horton's. One of the girls is heading out on a nearly 2 month adventure to New Zealand. So, this was a farewell, have a great time get together. The six of us ADULTS sat at a corner table for just over 2 hours chatting, laughing, drinking our mostly caffeinated beverages and sugared Tim Bits. Our noise level rose and sank depending on the crowd in the restaurant. We weren't rowdy.

Little did I know that there is a two hour sitting maximum. Really, I had never heard of that in any Tim's. Not only that, but a group of people who obviously still have food and beverages in front of them, at just after 1am with only ONE other single male in the place?? Didn't seem like an issue to me. We had just began to look at our watches thinking, we need to get home and sleep (cause us nearly/just 30 year olds are feeling our age!). That is when the 'fun' started.

This older, miserable, unhappy in her job woman came out from the back with the clean-up cart. She came out to the tables to pick up, wipe down, and I am sure eventually mop the floors. There are so many ways you can nicely ask people to move out of the way, switch tables, or if you are going to enforce the 2 hour seating rule, to leave. Not this woman. "Are you all just about ready to leave? You have been here the whole 2 hours since I came on! We have to clean up you know!" One of our coworkers got up to ask the other girl at the desk for her managers name. While doing that, the woman barked at my friend again. When she sat down, the woman yelled across the restaurant, "What do you think will happen? I will still win!" referring to if my friend complained.

We may have left it alone before that comment. But not now. My friend got up again, this time to ask this employee's name. She had not only removed her name tag, but barked at her coworker to not answer any questions, not give out her name, and for my friend to quit harassing her staff! And again we need to leave.

We did eventually find out her name from her coworker. We decided to be the bigger person's and clean our table as we left. But the 3 of us who were going to get orders for the road, didn't. And now we are all writing the manager, and possibly the head office. Oh ya, and boycotting that Tim Horton's. What a crank.

Next time, I think I would try table dancing...

Reminders

This morning I went back to my parents, and spent the day puttering around the house. It was when I went out with my mom, that she told me of a rather disturbing dream she had. It involved speaking very mean things to me, and ended off with "I never want to see you again!" and then slammed a bedroom door. Later on in the dream, she heard a noise outside. When she looked, she saw me sitting in the rain, in a mud puddle. Only it was a cartoon version of myself, with big big eyes. I was crying these deep sobs (wailing actually). It was then that she knew that the words she spoke to me in anger had broke my spirit. She came out, picked me up from the puddle, and brought me back inside the house. She knew from the look in my eyes that I would never be the same. She had gone too far.

At this point, she had woken up very upset. And she was upset all day, until I left again tonight. She kept hugging me, telling me she loved me. This traumatized her. She kept telling me she could never do that to me, but she was worried that if she could dream it, she could do it.

It is always a good reminder to make sure you weigh the words you speak. Harboring negative things in your heart is damaging, but once you speak them out into the abyss of the world, you can never take them back. Anger, and emotions in general, last but a moment when measured against the length of ones life. And even though you can recall sometimes how hurt or mad or happy you were, the height of the emotion only lasts for a brief period of time. Don't speak in anger. Don't speak without thinking, without praying, without understanding. You can never take them back.

Love you mom :-) I will always be your peanut!

Transit Bus Trauma...a day in the life of a car-less woman...

I had posted this on Facebook a while ago, but this NEEDS to be part of my Bus Blog series.

Bus Adventure #47


Many of you may or may not know of my car-less story. Either way, I have no car right now and share with my dad. I usually only get the car on weekends, so during the week, I stay with a friend, closer to my work and bus in, since coming from my home is...err...expensive. Wahoo for Greyhound... Anyways, I usually humor a select few with some of my more colorful stories if traveling transit, but today I will share with all...

So I didn't get the car since dad needed to work on the brakes. Today, (and of course, the morning started off badly anyways), if it wasn't for the S L O W woman working in the 7-11 where I needed to buy the transit pass, I would have made the right bus and avoided the following.....Since I love Stuart MacLean and the Vinyl Cafe, here is my story tribute to something I think he would appreciate.

I walked up to the shopping center near my friends, did some banking, got a lovely breakfast sandwich at McDonald's and had found my spot on the bus bench across the road. There were some unidentifiable wet spots on the bench to one side, so I sat myself down on the other side with my stuff beside me and patiently waited for the bus. I had no sooner unwrapped my lovely breakfast sandwich, when a man, who had dropped his stuff down near me, walked over and wanted to sit down. He looked at the wet spots and thought better of it, then proceeded to walk away appearing mildly disheartened. Seeing as he was older than me by quite a bit and appeared to be a hard working man, I moved my stuff so he could sit down....nothing good happens after this nice gesture.....

The man informs me “I love EVERYBODY today!!"....and he sure did. I wonder which bottle led him to such a decision. As I was sitting there, now not enjoying my breakfast sandwich I had waited all week to purchase when I got my pay cheque, I heard the man's story. Between slurred words, I gathered that this man (60) had recently broken up with his girlfriend (55) who had left him for a younger man (25) and was now homeless and looking for a nice girl to be with...I am not that nice girl. I smiled and basically told him good luck with that! He informed me that he just wants people to be honest with him. He has a good paying job in nearby, but he needs to find a woman and a place to live. I inform him nicely, that the 2 don't always go together...he told me they sometimes do...followed by a pause and the question... "do you live here?". I was never so happy as to say "No! I live 2 cities away!". "TWO cities??" he replied, but I knew his inebriated brain couldn't formulate the question as to why I would be here, taking a bus when I live half hour away. In either case, it backed him off for a whole 30 seconds. During this conversation, I apparently am humorous, which caused him to frequently lean, one arm hug, or bury his face in that arm of my jacket. I was also informed that he didn't know why, but he really wanted to hug me...great. I said "Ya, I get that a lot...". Of all the days for the bus to be slightly behind schedule....for crying out loud, didn't they know I needed to choose a different set of surroundings? sheesh.

Anyways, I have now consumed my cold breakfast sandwich, which is sitting like a lump in my stomach...kind of like the man next to me. I am sure by this point, that my jacket smells like said lump...Eu de Jack Daniels...He says to me "I hope you don't mind me hugging you!". Of course I told him "Just as long as my boyfriend doesn't see!". "Oh, you have one of those?"...he never really waited for my answer. No! (I felt like yelling), I don't! But I can sure manufacture one in a heart beat when I'm being 'leaned' on!

The bus, now appearing out of the corner of my eye, was the most beautiful sight I have seen since the arrival of the breakfast sandwich I didn't get to enjoy. He managed to get on the bus before I did, allowing me to choose my own seat...away from him. I did overhear him 'leaning' on his next victim...

So, to all of you who don't enjoy your vehicles, may I just remind you, that as long as you can get from point A to point B, enjoy it for all of us who wait for a bus patiently...while being 'leaned' on!

I have a dream

The phrase 'I have a dream' makes people think many things. I don't wish to make a grand speech, nor do I only have one dream. I have so many it's impossible to narrow them all down to a few good ones.

I am a dreamer. Not unrealistic mind you, but definitely the dream world is my happy place. I can occupy many an hour doing nothing but hang out on a comfortable sofa, with a throw and a cup of tea, starring out the window and just letting my mind wander. This becomes invaluable when life stinks.

And let me tell you, I have been through the life stinking part. And I am sure I will have those moments again. But the times I retreated into my daydreams kept me sane. I knew they weren't reality, and that if I lay there long enough, I KNOW nothing can happen since life doesn't usually hand you those dreams, you have to work for them.

Yesterday, I listened to the news. And I heard of something starting close to me that made the possibility of at least one dream of mine come true. We shall see. What a wonderful feeling to see something I have thought of all my life happening.

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

The Bus Blog Series

Since I have spent all of my life on the bus (in between owning cars etc), I feel I need to do some random posts on my bus experiences.

It is a lovely thing that in today's society, 'Going Green' as they say, and taking public transit to work or school is cool. It's even trendy and earth responsible. But above all, it still remains entertaining, frustrating, sketchy, smelly and some trips...unending...

Bus Adventure #93

Here is the scenario; a person is getting on the bus that you recognize. However you know the person, you may wish you didn't, or hope that they don't spot you. Too late. Now here is where the blessing of having a cell phone comes in. Grab your phone and set your ringer to either Silence or Vibrate as quickly as you can. Then, open your phone and pretend to answer and have a loooooong conversation with someone. The more natural and animated the conversation with the occasional "You're kidding! Why?..." or laughter the better. This is why your phone is on vibrate. That way if a real call comes in, it's not obvious to everyone that you have been talking to yourself. It also means you can say in a slightly raised voice, "Hang on, can I put you on hold?" making the call sound more legitimate.

Today was such a day for me. I did used to work with this guy years ago. He's nuts, and I don't use that term lightly. I don't think he would ever hurt me, but I am just not sure enough to feel safe. He got on, looked right at me...great.

I haven't had my cell phone hooked up for at least 8 months or so. I keep it on me, to use to find out the time, or use the alarm clock, or play the fun games I downloaded before I disconnected it. And yes...out it came. I had a lovely 15minute conversation with myself.

Think I am crazy? Maybe. Did he leave me alone? Definitely.

Average Riders 1
Strange Riders 0

A Soft Rain

Shh...It's raining by CanadianMaple on Polyvore.com

Today was like many days, getting off the bus, making a slow, shuffling trek home. As I weave through the maze of older houses on quiet streets, I notice, it's raining. More like misting actually.

On many other days, this rain may actually irritate me. I am definitely a thunder and lightening, throw at me all you got, kind of weather person. But today, this was welcome. Everything was quiet. The odd bird tweeting. The odd squirrel making a mad dash across the street to the next lawn and the cover of another tree. The one Weeping Willow tree I pass was gently moving in the breeze that was there.

I tired to tread quietly in my work shoes. I didn't want to disrupt this peaceful moment. I wanted to sneak quietly up to the house, slip inside, like the world never knew I was out and about.

I love days like this. They are the reason a cup of tea was created for.

Oh Happy Day to me!

There is nothing like walking in the sunshine of a clear spring morning. I fully appreciated the wind messing up my, what turned out to be, perfect hair day... it didn't matter. I was walking to get my birthday cup of Tim Horton's coffee before heading into work. It didn't matter that I waited 10 of the longest minutes for the SLOWEST Tim staff. It didn't even matter that I ended up swiping in at work 2 minutes late even though I had actually arrived 20 minutes early...it was my birthday. I almost had a Mary Tyler Moore moment walking into the building. If I had a cap on, I would have tossed it upward.

Does anyone understand?? I DON'T like mornings, and I am not usually perky in the AM. In fact...grouchy is a good descriptive word. It's not that I hate mornings, it's just I don't see the need why they exist. I wasn't even overly happy. I just wasn't my usual "Good Morning! - no...Morning. Good has yet to be established..." self.

I walked into the office with info boards and papers decorated with Happy Birthday Jolene!! I had several choruses of Happy Birthday sung to me. Staff that weren't in called, retired staff came in to visit. There were several gifts and cards, all of them special. I got to my home away from home, and was treated to a fun dinner and special dessert. I can remember a few years back, when I came to work one day (not my current work) on my birthday, and not one person said anything. I heard from about 5 people - 2 of which were my parents. And as much as sometimes we say, "hey, it doesn't matter, they probably had lots of people wish them well..." you never know...

I felt loved. Needed. Appreciated. Special. And sometimes you need it more than you know. It isn't until after the fact that you realize how much you want to be thought of as those things.

I have a lot of friends. I know a lot of people. And though the last few years of my life have seen major ups and downs, I know that there are a core group of people I can count on. Even when I am silent, I know, that they know, that I love them. I appreciate them. And who cares about getting older, it's who you grow old with.

Thank you my dear friends, family, and co-workers. You made my day.


"Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have. When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times."
Steve Brunkhorst

I came, I saw, I blogged...

So, here I am, no longer a Blog virgin. I have plunged into the unknown territory of voicing my thoughts, opinions, and interests on the information super highway... And it is here, in the wee hours of my 33rd birthday, that I choose to start.

Do I have any wisdom to pass along after surviving so many years on this earth? You would think so. However, my mind is a blank. A straight line of nothingness... _________________________ Could be the hour that I am writing. Could be I have nothing to say. (ya right) Could be that I am trying desperately to think before I 'speak' and thus not get myself into trouble.

Well, as I gather my thoughts, I will eventually come to share them. Please keep me company as I learn, grow, spout off, and show you the things I find interesting and important in my life.

Jo